Tuesday, October 13, 2009

The silver lining

Lately I've had a tendency to get overwhelmed and to occasionally feel sorry for myself. When the going gets tough I've noticed that I will start to list in my head the things that seem just so hard:

Work is stressful. It's so hard being a "working mother" and trying to find balance in life.

School is awful. Homework sucks. Tests are the worst.

My husband is stressed to the max (thanks to work and school) and is a big ball of anxiety.

I can never keep up on the housework.

My sweet baby seems to have been replaced by a rambunctious and uh, independent toddler these days.

All work and no play is making Rachel a dull girl.

I never get a break. All I do is work to make other people happy, and then collapse in an exhausted heap at the end of the day, having no time to do the things that I enjoy.

But in the midst of my little pity party this morning, I was filled with shame. I have so much to be grateful for:

Sure, work is stressful, but we are fortunate to even have jobs.

Yeah, school sucks, but so many people around the world would to anything to have the opportunity to gain an education.

My husband may be distracted these days, but I am lucky to have a loving and hardworking husband that would sacrifice anything for his family.

My house may be a mess most the time, but I have a comfortable home to keep me warm and safe.

My little girl may be on a rampage now and then, but she is happy and healthy and my pride and joy.

And even though sometimes I feel like I never have "me" time, how lucky am I that the people I get to serve are the people I love and the people who love me?

And most of all, as I've felt the pressures of the world press down on me, I have felt the reassuring and gentle hand of my Heavenly Father lift and support me, allowing me to carry whatever burden may be placed on my shoulders at the time. I know I have been so blessed, and will try to remember that at all times from now on.

Friday, October 9, 2009

How to Feel Like the Worst Mother in the World

Step 1- Live under large amounts of stress and anxiety for an extended period of time. 6 weeks is ideal.

Step 2- Attempt to hold in the stress, anxiety, and frustration for the full 6 weeks.

Step 3- Explode unexpectedly, resulting in an angry and admittedly heated discussion with your spouse (who is under equal, if not more pressure and stress. See also, "How to Feel Like the Worst Wife in the World").

Step 4- Observe your sweet daughter climb up the stairs during said heated discussion.

Step 5- Continue heated discussion. Angry tears are a plus.

Step 6- Decide to follow daughter upstairs to see what sort of mischief she is getting into.

Step 7- Check all the usual places where mischief is usually made. Feel perplexed that you cannot find your child.

Step 8- Find daughter hiding behind her rocking chair, burying her face in a stuffed animal.

Step 9- Allow the overwhelming guilt to wash over you. Well done, mother of the year, well done.