Good grief, has it already been 6 weeks since my last post here? My promise to do better isn't really going along as planned...
Part of the reason I fail to post these days is because we are just about the most boring people on the planet. I once commented to Brady that if we had our own reality show it would put people right to sleep. It would consist primarily of:
-Getting ready to leave
-Working at the most boring job ever
-Wrangling one child
-Falling into bed, exhausted
AND THAT'S IT. I'm sure you are all asleep just reading that. So in the midst of all the mundane activities, there isn't a whole lot to blog about. I suppose I could be a more proper Mormon mother and take the time to blog about the small things that make up life, but sadly there is little time for that these days.
In all reality though, even though our life is very routine and very busy lately, it is good. We are doing good things right now, and I feel proud that we are working so hard to do the things that will benefit our family in the future. Brady only has a few more weeks of classes, and we are so close to moving on to the next phase of our lives.
However, I recently had something happen that I guess will add some variety to our current schedule. For the last several months I've had the awesome church calling of being on the Enrichment Committee (or Relief Society Meeting Committee, under the new name), which is pretty much the best calling ever. I got home from work a couple weeks ago to have Brady tell me the bishop wanted to meet with me. DUN DUN DUN....
I'll admit, I wasn't thrilled about getting a new calling. Mine was a perfect low-maintenance one that fit in great with our current lifestyle. Why change things? I sat in the bishop's office that night with butterflies in my stomach. He is a good friend, and I could tell he was not comfortable either because of what he was about to ask me to do. He made small chit chat for a long time, then when it came time to issue the call rather than look me in the eye directly as he usually did he looked around and stumbled over his words.
"Well, Sister Paulich, uh, we know you have some talents, and uh, well, uh, we would like for you to put those to use for, um, the benefit of the ward. We've thought long and hard, and uh, well, we just keep coming back to your name. I realize, uh, this might be a bit out of your, ahem, comfort zone but, uh, well, we'd like to ask you to play the organ in Sacrament Meeting....?"
THE ORGAN. IN SACRAMENT MEETING. People, I've never played the organ in my life, and I've hardly touched a piano in the last few years. I immediately started to sweat and it felt like the room was spinning a bit, but I accepted the call. Oddly, I felt at peace when I left but holy smokes, I am terrified out of my mind. I have never EVER considered myself a good piano player, especially while playing in public. Nothing makes me more nervous, except for maybe playing in public while people sing. I would rather teach a lesson or speak at Stake Conference before playing the organ in front of an entire congregation.
There's a guy in our ward who knows how to play and did in the past, but he is now part of the MoTab Choir and is unable to attend our ward because of time conflicts. I am supposed to meet with him this Sunday for some basic organ lessons. I don't know when the first week I play is yet, but the nightmares have already begun. In fact, this last Sunday we attended a different ward and I was unable to sing any of the hymns. The whole time I was watching the organist and thinking about how I would have to play soon and I was physically sick. I honestly don't think I've had a greater phobia in my life. It's completely ridiculous.
I don't own a piano, so I've been trying to head over to my parent's house at every opportunity to practice. It is interesting, because my practicing has been going much better than expected given how little I've played over the last few years, but I still have a long ways to go. I just hope I don't pass out, cry, or possibly die the first time I am up on the stand trying to play. A friend jokingly mentioned I should try to hunt down some Xanax to help me get through it, but part of me thinks that is a fantastic idea...
It's almost funny that playing the organ is a true test of faith for me, but it is requiring me to face one of my biggest fears head-on. I do have faith that I can get the help I need, but I still have moments of freaking out. Maybe there could be an interesting reality show about this. Can't you just see a True Life episode- "I Have To Play the Organ in Public"...? If you ask me that show is GUARANTEED some drama.